It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
