Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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