So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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