You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
