Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
