U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize