I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
