She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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