I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
