i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
