He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
