Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
