There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize