She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
