She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
