Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
