Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
