ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
