The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
dude. I can hear the air.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
