i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
