Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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