I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize