First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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