Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm having to shit out rocks
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize