Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
