I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
