I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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