You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
