drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
