According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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