and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
