i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
