Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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