with your own penis?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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