I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
