Duck Duck Cougar?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
