Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
