You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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