Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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