yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
