I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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