I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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