in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Shame - the story of my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
