Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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