She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
