Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
