why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He passed out mid-signature
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
