I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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