I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
