like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize