I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
