Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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