I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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