I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
do nipples grow back?
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