Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
