He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
