Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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